This will show all of you just how fucked up my life really is.
So a few months after I quit, I finally got back on FaceBook after deleting my account several years earlier. I added a few people as “friends” who I knew from childhood, from school, from work, and even some people from the courthouse. Somehow or another I was “friended” by a young lady named “Birgitte”, who was a FaceBook friend of someone I knew from the courthouse.
To put things in perspective, Birgitte is in her 40’s, and an easy 9.0 on the regular guy scale. She is not only very attractive, but extremely intelligent, friendly, and very outgoing. Birgitte may be a public school math teacher, but she is “model hot” in every possible way.
We started chatting some on line, and she seemed like a very nice person and easy to chat with. I vented to her a little bit about what had happened, but never mentioned Dawn’s name. I guess that I must have really been a mess, because it took me a few weeks to notice that one of her “friends” had the same last name as Dawn. I eventually figured out that it was Dawn’s ex-husband.
I told Birgitte that I liked her and that it was nice talking with her, but that it felt weird because she might actually know who I had been talking with her about. She didn’t know, and asked me who it was. When I finally told her that it was Dawn, Birgitte said that she had dated Dawn’s ex for about a year and had recently broken up with him. That was just too much for me.
I told Birgitte that I was sorry but I couldn’t handle it, and that I would have to “unfriend” her. Birgitte said that she had never met Dawn, and that it shouldn’t be a problem staying friends. But seeing Dawn’s ex on Birgitte’s page just didn’t help, and I was really trying to get past everything. I felt really bad about it, but knew that it would help.
A few weeks later I went out to a local bar to grab something to eat and to listen to a band. While there I noticed on FaceBook that Birgitte was down as being there too. I sent her a quick message saying hi, and asked if she really was there too. She said yes and that I should come over. I probably shouldn’t have done that, and just left without saying anything. But I hung out to watch the band for a bit, and eventually Birgitte saw me and came over to say hi and gave me a big hug.
Did I mention that Birgitte was a 9.0? Not only did she look really hot, she felt hot! I even saw one guy mouth “lucky prick”, as she was hugging me.
I told her that I owed her a drink, and walked her over to the bar. I told her that I was really sorry, and she said that she understood completely and not to worry about it. Then she said that Dawn’s ex was supposed to be at the bar that night to hang out and watch the band. That just threw me for a loop. I told Birgitte that it was too fucked up and I was going to leave. Birgitte grabbed my arm and said that he “was” supposed to show up, but had told her later on that he wasn’t going to show up, and that I shouldn’t go.
Birgitte started telling me about her relationship with Dawn’s ex, Dawn’s relationship with her ex, and why she (Birgitte) had broken up with him. I don’t think that it would be appropriate or fair to repeat what I was told, but it did explain some of why things happened the way they did with Dawn.
And it made me feel really sad for Dawn…
We finally got off of that topic and started talking about other stuff, and even about getting Birgitte on the back of my motorcycle and going for a ride somewhere. She said that we’d have to be friends again, so I told her that she’d have to make that move herself. We talked a bit more, and I told her that she should probably go back to her friends before they thought she had skipped out on them. She gave me a goodbye hug and walked back towards the front of the stage. I hung out a little while longer, and then started for home. I received a friend request from her before I got back to the house.
We chatted a bit over the next few weeks, and Birgitte really went out of her way to be nice to me. But it really was too much for me. I ended up unfriending Birgitte again, and actually deleted my FaceBook account shortly thereafter.
I still feel bad about unfriending Birgitte that way, but I really needed to. It seemed like every time I looked at her page, that Dawn’s ex was right there and then I’d start thinking about Dawn all over again.
The worst part?
Here was this very attractive 9.0 who was trying to be friendly with me. A very beautiful young woman that every other guy would be dying to get with. Someone who under different circumstances I might be trying to get with.
And all I could think about was the 8.7 on the Richter Scale I wanted to be with.